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July 15, 2005
*I'll*Kiss Your Ass
Having flamed into thin (or thick and hot as the case may be and , in fact, is) air substantially more than intended (though only somewhat more than expected) I went back to Rich to spend last 20 on last dub. Before leaving I break, not the ice cuz we don’t have colness or barrier, or distortion of that flavor, but some level of social discourse and exchange that we’ve stagnated on and asked him the kind of jocul(ar?) question usually reserved for max: yo, when you gonna hook me up with one of your fine african sisters? they’d like a white man [could I have used that word ‘man’, impossible! but so, too, ‘boy’ and ‘guy’! mystery.[[dying even now.]
He gets all big mouth smiles and laughs and eyes to the heavens and foot shufflin’ foot rockin exccitement as he tells me that’s what HE’S trying to do for himself, too, and that I gotta holler at them. but I confess that on the rockety rocket science my laziness outmatches my need, my love, my lust, my desire, “I’m like, ‘you wanna come over hear and suck my dick that’d be cool but…” and he interupts my dramatazation to advise a strip club. strippers are the way to go. Seems his way and type of choice. ‘expensive’ i note. It’s betterb ecause they KNOW you got mean and that you ill/ spend it. and that in long run (the other kind end up costing more, to which I concur before telling him my freshest anecdote, just a couple hours aged, in fact, happening as it did when i was walking up from habib’s to my new name-forgotten friends on the other, dark side (of the pkwy), and a probably inappropriately young (no, not intrinsically, but vis a viz myself) (16?) girl was walking the oppossite way (toward me) and said with raised voice over to peeled off riend or irritant “…kiss my ass@” and I—I’m proud of this, yes—without the missing of a single beat, repled at just the not-in-your(her)-face/as if more self-dialogue re outside (than anything ((accessible at that ae00)/not go unheard, “I’ll kiss it. Matter of friendly fact, not creep dreep. just at moment of passing. but some confidence. her ‘s is also confident and sure but more like aw, you stuoopid, I’ll play your verbal game/invasion.
I liked the interaction. I laughed, felt laughfull and layful, and I was kind of happy to get any kind of non-special response/interaction in that neighborhood, that activity, that demographic at all! actually, to be honest with you. thta first rge cd has been made. done. but boy was thta an out from left fileld while hearing both ((oplaying oth!) felt a bit empowered, oprah, really, I’m not lying, isnt’ that cool?
OPRAH: for intimitating a young woman of lower economic class thann your bad white hetero, male middleclassness? Does that do it for you? Cause if so, you’re always do in i? what Is it?
I: Ah, hell no! untless you count “disinteresting” as a doin No, I’mnot so doinbut I unserd from then on a little better
What’s the ‘doing’? okay, I’m flailing again and it’s totally all the tired ness. Can’t stay awake. don’t feel high (ut can see some . I stil think something can be done on ???We’re picthing always? Or considering osmetimes? Now?…
just was going to finish by adding original point that gained some understanding of/appreciation for piropos and cat-calling culutre in lat.am.—don’t get me wrong! i still think on the whole and in so so many ways on so many diverse levels (some you might be surprised by but can’t surprise you now. later, baby) it’s so super lame (wrong, but also just stupid). all of it. but I’m open to learning /and lfeeling the feeling of it. The learning, the realization was that look, I look all the time everywhere to not —other—avail than the satisfaction of being myself and enjoying the doing of my desires (some!). I also almost always think / have in y head a comment, remark, a compliment, a vulgafism perhaps (private, personal!)—the hole nine yuard range spectrum—to no other avail. Why not, knowing that nothing’s going to happen any/eiher wauy, justsay what domes to migh because it feels nice to not have to weird and parse them. wonder & stragezy.
yo dog i’m out to less rambly endeavors
Posted by peligrito at July 15, 2005 12:54 AM
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