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June 26, 2005
happy fuck
it’s too early to call it, i’m not throwing in the towel yet, you know how I hate to jump the gun, but i just want to say, that this being the last hurrah, if it’s the last hurrah, be cause those last hurrahs seem by definite-shun to never be last, but it has to be and I feel like maybe I can and it will be, but then I’ve said all that beforee,this is why I never make any promises, but then maybe I nver get anywhere because I never make any promises. but then again, I do. to myself and god all the time, and to some friends on the inside explicity, and to may implicity, liek now when I’m suking at work and I talk about getting it together…so we’ll see, won’t we, but with that in mind, I’m going to miss these holing uip sessions in my room in a hotel in central america. as weird as it is, I couldn’t be happier than when I ahve a stock pile anbd privacy and things to do, espcecialy writing instruments (analog or electric), artistic stuff—paints, books—the computer, emails, internet, etc. oh god, it’s so great! like a giant hot tub of blondes on a ski slope ion sweden all to myself! unlimited time, on the house. ut that’s the trick. there is no free lunch. you end up payiing at some point. but I don’t want to go down that depressing line of thought path. I just want to say, damnb. good times. and productie too! no maater it takes me hours to complete one html template toward the end of it. when yuou work non stop, not even bathroom breaks for three days straight, you get a lot done no kmatter how inefficeint you are. and that rules too. damnb. gotta fill that hole. myabe I’ll fill that by filling other holes. Ohter peoples’s holes. the sweet glazed donut holes of the ladies. in truth, i have thought about focusing my attention there as a pleasurable replacement, distraction, toolto cure. like gum instead of a cigarette.!!!
Posted by peligrito at June 26, 2005 2:53 PM
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