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August 17, 2005
Chopstuck
Always looking for the perfect tool. Last night…or before?; damn I can’t even rememberstraight a 24-48 hour period…I thought a fancy chopstick—the paintied kind with a printed section or some shit—would pushitrealgood…
**Now, for those of you who land on this site after putting in a search request looking for crack how-to’s and techniques (and you know who you are; and I do too, or at least your IP addresses…), I’m going to give you a tip: the Leatherman equiv for the smokah is any straight object with a flat end, longer than the pipe, and just a hair less diametered. You’ll use that to push your screen from one end of la pipa to la otra should you want or need or it prove expedient.**
And that is exactly what I had. I thought. Got part way, paused to reposition grip, and that was long enough for resin to cool and dry and lock that chopstick in there, rendering all apparati in operable. I pulled and yanked, pulling faces, too. Nothing. I got grip aides—textured cloth works well—but nothing. I got pliers. No.
**Now, for the highschoolers landing among us researching chemistry and physics papers, I’m going to lay down some science and model the efficacy of finesse over brutitude, brains over brawn. You see, I pulled and pulled; it was such a sight. And then I reached for the lighter. Ran it under the tube like you do when you need a preheat, and voila! (French, you high schoolers!) Slipped out like a pre-pub penis from a prostitute’s pootie.
Let that be a lesson to ya’.
[[***I have no qualms putting that kind of practical information out there. Kids and everybody else will best be kept from drugs’ harm not through the superficial slapsticking of prohibitions that don’t get at the root of any problem, but through the dissuasion of honest education and the redress of social conditions that inspire such destructive distractions. Besides, I’ve enthusiastically fostered and single-handedly built a not insignificant consumptive system for crack and have done that without outside encouragement or help, the scant information gleaned hard-won. And a friend of mine burned many costly bags of coke over a lonely kitchen stove trying to trial-and-error his way through the learning curve of crack production. So, if a kid wants to do drugs, a kid will do drugs, with or without me, you, the next gal, or our leaky infors. There. My policy.]]]
Posted by peligrito at August 17, 2005 2:21 PM
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