The Propagation

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August 12, 2005

Chamomile is not a tea.

My ass is getting shagged! (Once again NeckID (no Ego) on the car pet.
chain smokier—just sub cocaine for the main ingredient (toeback-Oh oh oh oh please…)
every 2-4 seconds my head starts to dip; im so tire
my normally nominally zitty and pinkish ass (I’ve been told) is particularly zitty and I’ve reached

I shake my body, now up on fours like awaiting an exquisitely large strapon to reach a point of no return. And hurry back to the screen and stare, unable to remember what I was doing or was supposed to do, or was going to do, or unable to focus, in which case I was lid-lifting and directing the balls toward the lumin in front of me. Typ ‘rack B Hayve Your patterns are in force but taken up to eleven and then eleven-er and elevenerer and so ON. I tug the cock maybe more than mom or the doctor would recUMmend or judge prudent but it’s not a micro-fraction as masturbatory as my activities at the lapto’. More idle fidget than nervous tic especially when treatment cannot p

or, like ‘twiddling your thumbs,…and while I imagin that kind of activity to turnout in the end to not worth the haslll or expense of the added laundry caused by sticky clean-up___________ ultimately, Tweadle Dee Down There will inevitably be disproportionate to the girls—Rosie Palmer’s Famous Five Sisters— that duck down into the alley there for their First Furtive Fumblings and then later to bitch and whincha

It’s more like an informal, extended massage with some unconventional techniques, that’s all.

uh…

o… yeah… i guess that’s all anything that happens in that randy region really is.

You’re thinking about htis all wrong. think “an invigorated handholding workout” instead. See? It’s simple., isn’t it?

a cupping, a support, like a jock strap, it’s called self-dependence, and self-reassurance.

if idle hands are the devil’s playground, does that mean my penis—enjoying as it did and does some low-level, out-drawer movement and activity resulting, in part, in personal growth and strengthening—the kind of universally vaguely desired in oments of less thingssooky conferences like that like to offer their participants. Mine ver

… 5:11’M [second winding give up its afectations again. How does that hapen? I should only be more tired later. Right? Where did the enrgy come from while I fought eye closures and topple-backs and in coherence.Oh, I just got an idea. The crack cocain, perhaps? But—and this brings up one of my points: I’m smoking like a maniac now. Pretty much chain-style, supplies always at the ready, out in my workspace, or clutched and sweat-lodged in my hand in my pocket.]

Talking to F about J and then C and I think D back there in between (I never remember who I tell what to and have taken to prefacing most remarks with that admissionconfession). I realized that I’m a bit of a fag hag. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a boy like that. Or it talked about. Only girls and a few women. What does that mean? Does it mean something? Should it mean something?

I resist the Grate Expectations and inadeQUIT connection b
ut I open to the possibiuility and to the other’s ; that things are cingularly traceback abdle

fag mag
guy at the bar
playing along, humoring/accomodating,, practicing, not at all phobsicking…

underwear and sock to push screan through white chocolately fudge fludge

spit on that shag when bits of carbonated screen flew to paste upon the tongue

confessional with f—every ugliness

It’s quite a show and I’m watching it.

[i’m roking back and forth, yes closed, after just hitting big on new Pebbles(/)Beache(s), and was totally falling into serious sleep. if somnambulism is sleep walking, what’s the word for (sleep-preventative) sleep ass-rocking? Sompendulassin’? Sompendubut… (too easily mistake able for a coming out of some sort, or as the French put it, a “debut.” someassquake! No, that sounds more like what an enthusiastic, excitable big booty afficionado in early adulthood would say sidelong to his giggle-ready (and otherwise generally accomodating of his friend’s needs for subconscious fear that one day the friend would real eyes he has nothing else to offer besides his Stand-In Ed McMahan and as a result feel an instant and thourough decathecting from his steady, affirming nurture and ever-believing support, and that said seismickey shift would be accompanied by the suddenly rimming and brimming sense that and a back-mouth bitter twinge, and that—that—he could not take. ‘Fine, you know?’ he thought when he imagined how it would play-out, ‘Whatever. If he doesn’t want to be friends anymore that’s his decsion. He could respect that, or whatever. ‘Let him go if he didn’t need a sidekick or if they’d move apart and it was time to move on

No, he was not the type of person to bitter his own butterscotch just because his buddy

And then, as if with a final, coffin-sealing nail, he set his eyes conspiratorially on their reversals in the mirror on the heart & just couldn’t bring himself to ever hurt him one bit.

and while thumb rolling, or twiddling as it’s commonly refered to, is an actual ‘medical treatment used by physical therapists to help patients in those jobs where you use your thumbs a lot—you hang by them, they’ll tell you. Ask, them. You’ll see I’m right!-but, yeah, aside from its truly, important ‘official’, let’s call it, role in that field, most people engage in the activity as a sort of whiling away as the thumbs dance around each other in a coordinated, non-contact fashion, the mind falls in behind and follows suit in a sort of almost effort-less numbing; it’s like going back to the basics. to the simplicity of repetitive motion. it’s primeval, it’s pure, and for that alone it’s calming, it’s soothing, something that goes on in the back ground as if it weren’t even there, silently doing it’s job, whereas your thing, whatever you call it, it’s bound to get a young man, even somebody with a few more years (but not too many, heheh) aroused, do it long enough. pull hard enough. people like painful sex, you know! and it becomes a thing where one part—or one part of an entity, I should say—has actually turned on another part of the same organism, and it’s detrimental to the health of the overall organization. It’s reallly dangerous, I’m serious. One way or another people hear about this new fad, this new buzz about town —sure, ideally, you shouldn’t be spending time at the kind of place where that goes on, but I know what’s out there, and, hell, some people just don’t stop to think that maybe not every person in the world is exatcly like

they are.’ Either it just never occurs to these poor saps and we don’t want their bra and wheter they like the idea or not—let’s say it not as an agression with yankees, and balls, for Christ’s sake, and pop-flys, pretty soon your going to be talking about sliding into home base and scoring another one for your macho fucking team, right? Am I right?.

ghost cat stepping off the small oldalog TV on the floor in the other room and walked towards me, and losing me for a brief p;asing through the sharp triangular shadow cast by the door frame interrupting the light to approach and pass by disap

just now [6:11amxactlee] pulled the drunk stunt: lit the wrong end. put the warmy, minty end in

various anthropromorphing lumps and a woman in mid-lengh, white dress—a synthetic blend, you know? something perhaps a micron or two thicker than polycloths, but less dense so it’s prety much impossible brightish, lightish

dog shoes

spinal infusion

Posted by peligrito at August 12, 2005 3:27 AM

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