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July 11, 2005
call in
+8, spark, 9:30 off block (production), ran into the dude my host, I’m so name bad!, holding much incense and claiming to be off to call mother in law and not wanting to hear her mouth goin off, though just where he was headed, i don’t know
off all more perfect and easy times to let it go. broke the fri night, weekend cycle. but needing to get the review out, and feeling otherwise incapable, the sleepaway weekend became enabling: rested, not strung, better positioned…
speaking of rev. : . somewhat remarkable that I wrote a review of a photography book 100% on cr. it’s good actually. I’m confident. It took forever. I mean, I always take forever, but this was doubly triply forever, working non-stop from at least 7:30pm sun (1st recorded save) til now 3p mon on a 9 paragraph thingie. But over and over the point is driven home regarding people that claim to not be able to write. I’ll grant some differentiation in native ability but 88% of my polish comes from a willingness to put in inordinate amounts of time. my times are always ridiculous. add cr and it’s only worrse, but don’t think it’s all cr. most isn’t. okay. defensive! fuck!…
stepping down into train station I’m just like no, call in sick, why go in and suffer, you’re not going to impress anybody…blah blah, and I did. Glad I did. but this has to end end end end end
thinking of some radical new move. up and off to kansas city, manual labor job. no reason not to. long as money comes in, only stip. bummed on the be limb. bbed me off. gon test jr but that way longshot given situ there now. pre situ,,,or between situ…I think it would have been a snap, maybe, proly. not now, but that’s really what I want (after the be), really want it, and little else but a life worth living…
Posted by peligrito at July 11, 2005 3:13 PM
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